I've been asked several times why I would want to go to Mexico City. It is crowded, right? Twenty-one million people, right? If Mexico, why not just go to the beach? Easy answer and brace yourself - beaches are dull. Just come clean and admit it. Salt water and sand. That's about it. Add beer and it becomes tolerable. Except for those who delight in being hot and bored, you must admit that I'm correct on this issue. I need beer goggles to lighten the day when I'm on beach duty. With beer served by the bucketful, my five of a beach vacation can be oh so gently nudged up to a seven. If not, well then its a five and I'm just sitting on a bunch of rocks crushed so tiny that it doesn't hurt when you walk on it.
I don't want a five in anything, and you don't either. Do you want to be loved by someone with the effort and consistency of a five on a scale of ten? No. Do you want to eat food that tastes like a five? No. And if beer can nudge a beach day to a seven, that still isn't great. That is C- work, my friends, and you don't get very far in life if your highest aspiration is to get to a C-. I aim high, so no beach! Go with culture and history! Mexico City is loaded with both. There's your answer for "Why Mexico City?".
Our adventure begins with a trip to Sacramento International Airport. That drive is bland, bland, bland. I mean if you like smoggy air and dead weeds, then God bless ya. We spice it up with a listen to the hit Broadway musical "Hamilton". If you've read my travel blogs before, you know that I like to detour. So .... Stop!!!
A quick detour to talk artsy stuff brought to you by a fellow who thinks he knows about artsy stuff but doesn't really know stuff. Here we go ...
What do we have in this picture? On the right in green is, in my opinion, a genius by the name of Lin-Manuel Miranda. He wrote the lyrics, music and handles the role of Alexander Hamilton like a champ. If the name of Alexander Hamilton sounds familiar but you can't quite put a face to the name, I understand that Hamilton appears on the ten dollar bill. I'm not allowed to have money in my wallet, so I pulled up a picture of a $10 bill. I think the $10 looks something like this.
PS: I imagine Hamilton as a bit of a dandy, so I took the liberty of giving him a very fashionable moustache that doesn't look at all like a certain dead German??? You can only be so accurate in coloring a moustache by the movement of a computer mouse. Despite this obvious drawback, Hamilton is now made into one rather charming fellow
Back to theatre ... the guy on the left is playing Thomas Jefferson. Hamilton and Jefferson hated one another on both a personal and professional level. And you thought partisan politics and personal attacks by politicians were a new thing? Now that you are up to speed on the relationship, you are witnessing a still photograph of a "rap battle" for the heart and mind of President George Washington (the guy in blue). I'm going off memory, but I think it went something like this:
Jefferson: Hamilton, I abjure you sir!
Hamilton: Abju....
Jefferson: Look the word up, you Princeton educated dolt!
Hamilton: (Crosses arms and looks smug ... the only true defense when in the presence of a superior intellect).
These kinds of personal attacks figure well in our current political discourse, so it is an easy theme to write around. All Lin-Manuel Miranda would have to do is throw in some window dressing around this conflict to craft a winner. How about an interesting historical figure like the Marquis de Lafayette? History buffs, you know him as the French guy who gave us an assist against the British. I have a quote of his assigned to my memory, and it is a warning to us all. He said, "America is great because America is good. If She ceases to be good, She will cease to be great." True, true.
Having judged Hamilton as top notch art, I would like to take a moment to judge the combat prowess of our oldest allies ... the French. Here goes ...
Unlike most of the other Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys, Lafayette was an exceptional combat officer.
That is about as complimentary I can be, so I'm moving on now. Wait, let me throw this in:
And I can't tell if that guy is sad or if he got a bad taste of brie cheese. Now I will move on.
You can fly direct to Mexico City from Sacramento. What took Junipero Serra many months to accomplish barefoot will take you a mere five hours. Have you ever heard stories about cabbies driving the unknowing in circles in order to run the meter up? That doesn't happen at the airport in Mexico City. The city is carved up into zones, and you pay to get a voucher to travel to that zone. Simple stuff.
We only had half of a day, so I took the opportunity to speak some bad Spanish to some folks who wanted to be our personal tour guides, walk to the Templo Mayor, observe about 1,500 hundred cops on the street, and annoy a Mexican cat. Charming little fellow. I learned in Spanish class in high school that Mexican cats will fail to great you kindly and make complaining noises at you. Just like the American cat that tolerates you at home, the Mexican cat likewise disdains you. I gave the little complainer that I found at El Palacio Nationale a scrub on the head because I knew he was going to hate it.
The Palacio Nationale is located on the East side of the main square, the Zocalo. I'd like to introduce a certain villain to you. If you know anything about the Mexica (Aztecs), you know that they were rather brutal conquerors. So much so that many of their enemies joined Hernan Cortez in his conquest of the Aztecs. Alas, they traded one cruel master for another (plus small pox). Here he is ... Hernan Cortez.
Oh, wait. That is Disney villain, Jafar. Here is Cortez.
Striking resemblance don't you think? Anyway, in the way that all conquerors do, Cortes leveled Montezuma's palace and built the Palacio Nationale. My encounter with the Mexican cat occurred just feet away from this striking fellow.
I shared this photo elsewhere. Rather than receiving commentary relating to the artistic beauty of this sculpture or perhaps wondering why this guy is sporting with two metal balls (balance?), I got a bunch of crass commentary about his anatomy. No need for alarm, folks. This man is playing with cylindrical objects. There is no threat to his masculinity posed by this sporting endeavor.
The Palacio Nationale is gilded with the art of Diego Rivera. I must say that his striking use of color is phenomenal. And it is all for free! All you have to do is show the guards with automatic weapons your passport, and off you go! Most of the art at the Palacio Nationale depicts native imagery from the time of the Conquest. Here is a fine example (and, yeah, I know that the edges are off, but I had to look up!):
These murals face an open courtyard. That means they are exposed to the elements! In the interior of the Palacio Nationale, we were dumbfounded by this bit of Diego's macabre sense of art:
So, another art moment ... The female protagonist in this mural is obviously threatened by an image of Death. Yeah, there's the goat head fella and the pointy paper nose guy, but Death is our main antagonist. Metaphorically, Death hovers about all of us just as in this mural. On a lighter note, it would appear that Death also should engage in sporting games requiring only cylindrical objects. Just saying ... and now I'm no better than those who sent me snarky comments about the two fisted bocce ball player.
After having been "exposed" for the first time to Diego Rivera's artwork (which I found to be stunning), it was time to wash away my alarm with some beer. We were accosted by a guy outside of the Catedral Metropolitan who shepherded us up to a restaurant called Lucky's. It is situated directly across the Zocalo from the Palacio Nationale and right next door to the Cathedral. I tried to get Alex to have a beer with me because the drinking age in Mexico is only eighteen, but he didn't want to play. I will now have to wait an additional three years for that pleasure.
Our view of the Cathedral from Lucky's was just ... like ... this ...
Not a lot of places you can get this view at lunch for less than $10 a person. Ah, Mexico you and I have both been called cheap, but you for all of the right reasons! And with this photo, I conclude my recap of June 29, 2016. Stay tuned for Day 2 in which I will introduce you to some rather alarming animals.
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